


Into the Nothing

by O4amuse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11th hour Destiel, Bittersweet Ending, Brotherly Love, Carry On My Wayward Son, Character Death, Everybody Dies, First Kiss, M/M, POV Castiel, Post-Season/Series 11, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/O4amuse/pseuds/O4amuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel hurled aside the last of the rocks and gazed down at the two crushed bodies, his fists curling helplessly. The tattered remnants of grace that Lucifer had left him were barely enough to bring one of them back to life. Just one.</p><p>That wasn’t a choice he had the right to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from a song by Breaking Benjamin. Go listen to it, and tell me this isn't entirely appropriate for the SPN verse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjb2mKCD2iA

_Into the nothing_  
_Faded and weary_  
_I won't leave and let you fall behind_  
_Live for the dying_  
_Heaven hear me_  
_I know we can make it out alive_

 

***

Castiel hurled aside the last of the rocks and gazed down at the two crushed bodies, his fists curling helplessly. The tattered remnants of grace that Lucifer had left him were barely enough to bring one of them back to life. Just one.

That wasn’t a choice he had the right to make.

He took a deep breath, pushing back the surge of grief and anger at the universe, and sent a thread of prayer into the dreams of the Winchesters’ last living friend. Then he unfurled his wings and shifted into the etheric plane. Sam was standing close by, arms wrapped around his waist, watching Billie the Reaper with sad eyes. Dean, unsurprisingly, was arguing, arms gesturing sharply as he leaned into the reaper’s personal space. Castiel allowed himself a moment to luxuriate in the passion that rolled off his friend, just as vibrant in death as he always had been.

  “...fucking touch him, you bitch. I been ganking monsters all my life, I ain’t about to let you break the habit of a lifetime.”

  “You just left your lifetime,” Billie said with a small smile.

  “Yeah, well, take one more step in his direction and I’ll show you how much being incorporeal slows me down.”

  “Dean, I don’t mind,” Sam said tiredly.

  “No, Sammy, it ain’t happening. If anyone’s earned a chance to put their feet up in Heaven, it’s you.”

  Sam looked at Castiel with a little shrug. “He’s been like this since we got here.”

  Dean turned and his brows contracted sharply in distress. “Aw hell, Cas, tell me you didn’t get killed too.”

  “I did not get killed too.” With a sigh, Castiel acknowledged that there was no choice to be made here. He could not restore both of them to life, and Winchesters tended to do badly on their own. That left one clear path of action. Castiel met the reaper’s dark gaze. “You may not take them.”

  Billie put one hand on her hip, clearly unimpressed. “The dead are only Heaven’s business once I’ve delivered them to your gates. These two have a debt to pay.”

  “And they have paid it in their services to humanity whilst living. You may not have their afterlives.”

  “You don’t get to judge, Twice-Fallen.”

  Castiel took a step closer, casually manoeuvring so Sam was behind him. “I watched over them. There is no one more qualified to judge. A place in Heaven is already prepared for them to share. The beers have been opened, the fireworks lit.” He slipped his angel blade into his right hand, keeping it low but visible.

  Billie looked him up and down scornfully. “You and whose army?”

  “Cas don’t need an army.” Dean moved to his side, shoulders squared and jaw set. “He’s got us.”

  “You can’t kill me with that, and you aren’t fast enough to lose me,” Billie said, still looking at Castiel. “Especially burdened with two souls.”

  “Cas?” Dean muttered, not taking his eyes off the reaper.

  “Your angel’s a little low on juice. Been playing with the big boys, have we?”

  “Being Lucifer’s vessel took its toll,” Castiel admitted. “But I have enough power left for my purposes.”

  “Damn straight,” Dean said. “Take Sam and get gone.”

  “Shut up.” Sam grabbed his brother by the shoulder. “Like I want to hang out in Heaven on my own for all eternity. Honestly, I’m okay with this.”

  “How can you be okay with it?” Dean demanded. “You wanna give up, just because we’re dead again?”

  “I’m tired,” Sam said quietly, looking away. “I’m just… Dean, I’m tired.”

  “You don’t feel anything in the Empty.” Billie stretched out a hand.

The greyness of the etheric plane shifted, shimmered, and rolled back in a rippling circle onto darkness. Not just darkness, the absence of life. Castiel felt a shiver run through his wings at the complete absence of energy beyond the portal. How long would it take to unbecome in there? Was it a matter of moments? Was that even the right terminology? Perhaps there was no time, and it was both instantaneous and unending. He clenched his jaw and tried not to think about it.

  Dean grabbed his brother’s face in both hands. “I ain’t leaving you, Sammy,” he said fiercely. “Never have, not gonna start now. You and me and Cas, we can take her. You just gotta keep fighting.”

  “I can’t.” Sam leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m done.”

  “Yes.”

  Dean looked wildly at Castiel. “What? No, Cas, you can’t...”

  “It’s okay,” Sam said gently. “I get it, the whole ‘more profound bond’ thing. You’ve earned some rest. Both of you.”

  Dean shoved him back a step, eyes stormy as a spring sea, and turned to face both Castiel and Billie. “You’re not taking him,” he growled. “You can’t. Take me.”

   "I'm not negotiating," Billie said. "It's a package deal."

Castiel set his hand over the old mark on Dean’s shoulder. He remembered the heat in that skin, the thrumming awareness of emotion and humanity that pulled so tensely between them. Let the devotion he had lived with for so long overwhelm him for a moment, filling up his ribcage until it threatened to choke him in this airless place. He was light and love and strength. He could do this. This last, little thing.

  “This is what brothers do,” he said, voice low. “They sacrifice themselves for their family. You taught me that.” He leaned closer, daring for the first and last time, and pressed a soft, close-lipped kiss on Dean’s mouth. The sweetness of it nearly drove him to his knees. “You taught me everything worth knowing,” he whispered. “Be at peace.”

Then he turned, grasped Billie around the waist with all the strength he had left, and carried her screaming into the Empty.

 

* * *

Jody Mills woke from a dream with tears on her cheeks. She scrubbed them away brusquely, had a quick shower, and made a thermos of coffee. Then she loaded a shovel into the trunk of her car and set off towards Kansas. She left a note for Claire on the kitchen counter:

_Castiel sent his love and said goodbye._

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving kudos! It makes writers happy. :-)


End file.
